When you become a mom your list of fears become a mile longer than they already were.
I'm most afraid of all the bad that could potentially happen to Baylor. There is a quote that says "Making the decision to have a child- it's momentous. It is to decide to forever have your heart go walking around outside your body." I couldn't agree more. I never want Baylor to leave my sight. I worry if I ever do, that it would be the one time that something bad could happen and I wouldn't be there to do everything in my power to stop it. I worry that one day he'll need me and I won't be able to be there. That scares me more than anything.
Sometimes I fear that Shane and I were selfish. That it was selfish to bring an innocent baby into such a crazy world. Im scared that even though I know we will always have the best intentions, that Shane and I wont always make the best choices for him. I worry that I might fail him as a mother one day. I'm scared that one day he'll look back and say "Mom, if you would have done this, this, and this differently I wouldn't have done this."
You can only hope and pray that your child will get the best. They deserve it. I'm most afraid that for some reason that I can't control that Baylor won't. That to me is terrifying.
Ah, I think being a parent is a scary thing and a BRAVE thing. But the thing is... there are so many ways to love and ways to go RIGHT. And as long as you help develop that little soul the best way you can, that love can overcome any of the gaps or areas of oversight. The most important thing is to give them the ability to be a functioning adult -- to be able to answer their own questions using the resources they have -- that way, no matter what, they'll know how to figure things out. But I'm sure you knew that and that's what you're doing already. :)
ReplyDeleteYes its true I worried a lot with my children too, I'm too scared to leave them alone at that house and there big enough to take care well Two of them the others two are still small,but hopefully I'll get this fear away prontooo for the best of them and me.
ReplyDeleteI like how you put it, having your heart outside of yourself. I hope the best for you and your family. You will make mistakes but that is okay. Cherish all the glorious moments you have as a parent of a young child.
ReplyDeleteThe thing to remember when Baylor becomes a teenager and adult is to not force what you think is best for him on him. At least in my opinion that is important. Letting a person be themselves and be comfortable around is the best gift you can give them.
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