Real talk

I've been struggling with a lot lately. I'm trying not to have a pity party but sometimes it's good to get things off of your chest. Most of you know, I had to have an emergency c-section due to high blood pressure with Baylor. What you don't know is that the high blood pressure decided to stick around long after Baylor was born. I never shared that because I never thought that I'd still be dealing with it 8 months later. If you are diagnosed with high blood pressure during a pregnancy it's pretty standard for your pressures to go back to normal right away. My case was a little different. Two weeks after having Baylor I went back for a routine postpartum check up. My blood pressure was still high but my doctor said that it was fine and to come back in three months. By then my pressures should be back to normal. Fast forward three months and I'm sitting in the doctors office getting more high readings and feeling really discouraged. They prescribed me with blood pressure medicine and sent me on my merry way. Well the pharmacist told me it wouldn't be wise to take the meds while breast feeding because it could affect Baylor in bad ways. So I had to choose. Of course I chose to continue to nurse Baylor. If you have blood pressure issues or know someone who does you can imagine how this effected me. I retained gross amounts of fluid all over my body. Resulting in me gaining weight and being terribly swollen. I woke up with headaches every morning. Every couple of weeks, most of the time sooner, it resulted in migraines. Some days I felt so sick that I couldn't pick my head up off of the pillow and had to call in help with Baylor. Since I'm a very hands on mom this broke my heart. About a month or so ago I had a really big breakdown. I was so swollen I was miserable, I had a migraine so bad it felt like my head was going to explode, I was all around sick. I decided then that me being like that was not what was best for Baylor. If I'm in bed with a migraine all the time I can't be my best for my family. We started the weaning process right away. A few weeks, tears, and sadness later he was weaned. Last week I went to the doctor. They prescribed me blood pressure meds and something to help with the fluid retention. A few days into it I felt like a new person. I lost 5lbs of fluid just in the first few days. Now here is my struggle.. Just in the few weeks that Baylor has been weaned he has gotten sick twice. Today he woke up with his head and chest congested. I know that if I were still nursing him that this wouldn't be an issue and he would be less likely to get sick. So now I feel even worse. I guess what I'm saying is, I'm mad. Mad that my body has turned on me. Mad that I can't do the one thing that is best for my baby. Mad that I'm now one of those people that can't leave the house without their meds. I also know though, that God wouldn't deal me anything that I can't handle. I can now confidently say that I am on the road to a healthier and happier me. Hopefully we can keep Baylor well after he gets over whatever he just caught and we will be on the right track. If you took the time to read through my little vent, thank you. If you have a story similar to mine I'd love to hear it. It always helps to know that you aren't alone. Thank you to everyone who continuously supports myself and this blog. It means the world to me. And even though I may seem a little absent here I am always thinking of ways I can make it better. 

Coming up we have a giveaway for the ladies! Stay tuned for lots of fun stuff on Everyday Bay. 

Xo, 

Jerika